the first crow
by aikotters
Summary: Conan knows this scene better than he should. He wishes he didn't. Sequel to a thimble's worth of blood.


_Warning for character death, disassociation, child fear_

* * *

Onno Yoko seems like a very nice woman. Her hands are gentle when she takes the water from Conan's hands. Her voice is nice when Kogoro plays it on the tv.

She wouldn't kill someone, surely. Her hands are too soft, she seems barely able to hold a knife, and she seems terrified and confused by the existence of the body at all.

Conan doesn't know why, but he thinks that he can tell when someone else is lying

She's not a good liar. Her eyes move too much. Her hands are twisting. She still maintains eye contact with Uncle Kogoro, though, and he looks serious and grave and scared because she can't be much older than Ran-nee-chan right? That must be scary. Someone her age seeing that…?

How would he feel?

How _does_ he feel?

Honestly, everything feels far away to Conan himself. The body seems more like a decoration, the blood ugly paint. The way he's down with the knife feels like a play set piece. Ran-nee-chan had showed him a puppet show the other day. That is what it feels like now.

Beside him, her hand is over her mouth, pupils big, whites even bigger. She's scared, disgusted, hurting.

What is he feeling?

He is also afraid. Because someone killed someone else. Because in this town lots of people kill other people for a lot of reasons. But he isn't broken up into pieces, he is still here.

_The why is important _whispers a big voice, the voice he's dubbed as "not-Conan" for lack of any real originality and understanding. He knows that he doesn't want to give the voice a real name, because names were power and Conan is sure that he's powerless enough as it is.

He squeezes Ran's hand, and she startles. Her eyes find his and they glint with a whole lot of things that Conan and the other can't understand, can't even begin to take apart. The other has a guess and the guess is super gross.

She smiles and pats his head. "Once the inspector is done getting alibis and the evidence we can go home I think. I know dad wants to solve it but we don't have to stay if you don't want to."

"Mm." He nods his head and looks around again. "Ran-nee-chan?"

"Mm?" She's not looking at him now, in fact her eyes are pointedly towards her father. Maybe she hoping he catches on. Little kids don't belong at crime scenes after all.

And the other no-name is dismissive of this because well, he's done it before, it's the same now. The big voice is a bully, Conan is sure because he keeps telling Conan how to think and how to feel and _why should he_?

Oh right. Ran-nee-chan is expecting something from him now. "Uhm…" he points at another puddle, distant from the one where the blood had come out. "The floor was wet away from the knife."

"That was probably the blood, Conan-kun." She sounds patient, a little tired, a little wistful.

Conan only shakes his head at her. "No, _wet._ Water wet. Blood's all… thick and slow. And it's hot in here!" he adds because it is and he only notices because the body had smelled a lot. He looks around again. "And why is there a chair up?"

These are innocent observations, but Ran's hand tenses around his, coiled up and full. And without hesitation, Conan yanks himself free from her and retreats as far away as possible as quick as he can. He doesn't really get people, but he's upset Ran-nee-chan, he's sure.

Later he'd want to apologize, to make it up to her somehow, but now he just wants to run, run, run. So he retreats behind Yoko-san's couch, wiggling into the small space with the ease all kids have. He doesn't _mean_ to be scared of Ran-nee-chan, but his biggest, strongest memory is people much bigger than him making him hurt and burn up, so he's not going to take his chances.

Not even with Ran-nee-chan.

* * *

It's too late to stop Conan by the time Ran realizes what she's doing and what he's doing. By the time she's managed to catch herself, he's already gone and hiding.

It's not the first time either. The entire few days he's been in their apartment (and the budgeting's not hard, mom is asking and keeping on them and her accountant is a wonder) he's always around when the doors open and close but conveniently out of sight once he sees who it is. He's compulsively tidy, fixing her dad's favorite messes and ducking away from his casual agitated swipes with a determination meant for an older child and like it's practice rather than fear. He usually watches her cook and when she moves close he skitters off.

The first thing he asked her to buy was a music player and headphones. He's never asked for anything again. She has to shove a clunky old cellphone into his things so he doesn't leave it behind when he sits downstairs.

So she should know. She should know Edogawa Conan is not Kudo Shinichi raised by lax parents and knows no fear. He's Edogawa Conan, six year old boy who is too smart for his own good and terrified of every shadow because he has nothing else to hold on to.

She can't tell them apart and when he starts just picking up things, noticing little details, saying things without any regard for what it might mean to people, she gets-

Ran hadn't even said anything or indicated anything but he had noticed anyway and now she'd have to drag him out of his hideyhole and it was almost-

No. Don't think that, he's a child, _don't think that._

She makes herself look around instead, see what he saw, see what he was so eager to tell her but couldn't put the pieces together.

And he's right, the floor is awfully wet _everywhere _where the body would be. It's damp. It takes a lot of blood to make anything damp, and even more than a body can produce from one stab wound. And the body had been here a while, the blood had stopped flowing.

Then there was the chair… and the knife…

With water…

"Dad?" Ran asks shakily. "Are we sure that anyone murdered anyone?"

* * *

Conan had been obedient from the beginning. When she called, he'd answer immediately. When he did something wrong, he accepted his scolding while looking contritely at his shoes.

And when she pulls him into her arms he goes without a sound and sits. And waits.

"Conan-kun," she says softly. "Do you think you can go to school?"

They're coming home from a resolved case. Her father looks tired again, even while eagerly chatting with Yoko like she's a little sun ray. She looks more like one now, away from the body and revealed stalker and the accusations that were proven wrong by the observations of a little boy.

Conan sits quietly. He nods. "If you want me to, Ran-nee-chan."

She wants to tell him no, that's not what she asked. She wants to ask him what he wants. But Ran can't. He's a child. To him, she's an adult. She would know better, know best. Obedience gets him what he needs.

Someday, she hopes, she hopes, even if Shinichi never shines out of those eyes again, that his spirit, his courage, his reckless stupidity that landed him like this, comes back, if only so she never has to see her childhood friend curled up behind a couch because of her.

It's selfish to think so, but she can't help herself. Perhaps she is not as good as Sonoko and everyone else thinks she is.

* * *

_**A/N:**_ Aaaahhh Ran is trying so hard, bless her. She's really doing her best.

Next fic, _twigs and kids_ featuring the Detective Boys, followed by _bars of gold_ with Sonoko and _the murder weapon_ featuring our favorite Osakan detective.


End file.
